What Are You Looking For?

Qualities

I created a list over a year ago that had all the qualities I am looking for in a future husband. For those that have not done this, I strongly encourage it. Having a list of expectations and of things you will not settle is important. This list has kept me from dating guys that were not the right one for me. The list has shown me the "red flags" of guys that I shouldn't date. So I thought I would share my list to give you some ideas:

1. A Christian
• This is the first quality I look for when I meet a guy. If they are not a Christian, there really isn't any point in going further in the dating relationship. It is also biblical. 2 Corinthians 6:14
2. The capability to lead a family
• It is a man's role to lead and provide for the family. If he cannot lead or does not show qualities that can lead a family, red flag.
3. Adventurous and spontaneous
4. A "King"
• If you have not read the book, "Preparing to be a Help Meet" by Debi Pearl, I strongly recommend it. She outlines the 'king' personality as someone who takes charge and what he says goes. I find this quality very attractive in a man.
5. A sense of humor
6. Close to his family
• Look at how he interacts with his family. Is he rude and impatient with them? Does he do extra chores for them without complaining? If he is not close with his family, it may indicate that he won't be close with the family he will lead one day.
7. Doesn't drink, smoke, or say inappropriate words
8. College graduate
9. Similar beliefs as me
• It is important to date someone with similar beliefs. If you don't, a lot of unnecessary arguments may happen. If he believes the same things as you, it won't be hard to decide on a church home or any other decisions like that.
10. Strong in his faith and convictions
11. Able to be rational instead of emotional
• Since I am an emotional person, I need someone who is able to put his emotions aside and make a decision. This goes with the next point.
12. Able to make decisions in tough times
13. Financially mature
14. Genuine in care
15. Unchangeable mind and is not easily swayed
16. Pushes me to grow in faith and life experiences
17. Smart and wise
18. Approval of someone I respect

Creating a list is important. But, don't just stop there. It is also important to make a list for yourself. Who do you want to be in the relationship? If you have standards for the man you will date and marry, you need a list of who you will be, or who you want to be one day. I know that I am nowhere near where I need to be, so I have created a list of things that I need to change about myself. I also created a list of what I can bring to the relationship. 

Both lists are important. Create your own lists. Make one for qualities you are searching for in a husband. Create another for things that you can bring to the relationship and areas in your life that aren't quite fine tuned. It will open your eyes to all the red flags that you do not want to settle on. 

The Sun Came Out Just For Me Today

La, La, La
It took the clouds of life and blew them all away.

This song is so cute. Just think about the sun...coming out..JUST FOR YOU! I remember praying one summer that the sun would go behind a cloud just for me..ha.

Has anyone else seen the God's Not Dead movie? It is probably one of the best movies I've seen in awhile. It disproves the idea of atheism. I recommend it to anyone that thinks God isn't real.

The movie got me thinking. There was one scene that stated the fact that Jesus would die on a cross again just for me if He had to. Doesn't that just fill you with joy? I can't even imagine the pain Jesus went through on that cross. And to think, He would do it all over again for JUST ME. Woah.

To anyone who thinks they aren't special, I call their bluff. Everyone is special to God. If God would send His only son to die just for you, something must be special :) Remember that each of us are created in God's own image. For a long time, I didn't know what that meant. Maybe I still don't know fully what it means, but I think I have a greater understanding. For many, we wil be the only glimpse of God they ever encounter. Think about that when you start displaying distasteful behavior.

Things to take away:

1. You are special
2. God is real. Watch "God's Not Dead."
3. We are created in God's image
4. Display God wherever you go.

Stop Fighting a Fight that has Already Been Won

     Have you ever listened to a song 1,000 times and then on the 1,001 time you listen to it, something different comes to mind? I was listening to the song, "Redeemed" by Big Daddy Weave. Anyway, something this time really stuck out to me. It doesn't matter who I have been. I could have messed up yesterday at 11:59pm, and be someone can be a new person today at 8:10am as long as I have truly asked for forgiveness. (I didn't mess up at 11:59pm...I was asleep. But I'm just saying).
     Often times I continue to beat myself up for my past when there is nothing I can do to change it. "Stop fighting a fight that's already been won." It is insulting to God when I continue to remind myself of who I used to be, what I have done. It's like saying that He isn't strong enough to take it away. God's hand doesn't reach that far. "Behold, the LORD'S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save" (Isaiah 59:1). But God has already forgiven me. I need to forgive myself now.
     But how can you forgive yourself when you have done things so shameful? I struggle with this question daily. How could I have hurt God so much? How can He love me when I have hurt Him? I think the best way to forgive yourself is to truly come to the understanding that God cannot love you any more when you are in your best state, serving the Kingdom as a missionary, than he does in your worst state. "He does not love you based upon your performance. There is nothing you can do to cause God to love you any more than He already does—and there is nothing that will cause God to love you any less. He loves you, even more than you love yourself."
     The next thing I do to remind myself that I am forgiven is to pray. Being surrounded by God and His love always makes me feel comforted in a way that I cannot describe. Get into the Word and pray to Him. He wants to hear your voice.

Lessons

Change. For me, this is such a dreaded thing. I hate changing. I hate when things are out of my control. But nevertheless, things continue to change. Most of the time, it is for the better. I humbly admit that I need to change. I need to become more like Christ daily. It is hard, though, and take a long time. 

As I have started on this journey of change, I have learned so many things along the way. I have been reading the book "Hinds Feet on High Places," and just finished it yesterday. It honestly taught me more lessons than anything else. It taught me to accept everything with joy, to bear with love everything that comes my way, and to call upon the Lord when I feel oppressed.  I think the book can be summarized in this one quote.

"So remember this; as long as you are willing to be Acceptance-with-Joy and Bearing-in-Love, you can never again become crippled, and you will be able to go wherever I lead you. You will be able to go down into the Valley of the world to work with me there, for that is where the evil and sorrowful and ugly things are which need to be overcome. Accept and bear and obey the Law of Love, and nothing will be able to cripple your hinds' feet or separate you from me.        -The Shepherd

I have also learned, through this book and friends, to love those who persecute you. Another quote from the book is: 

"It is happy to love even if you are not loved in return. There is pain too, certainly, but Love does not think that very significant."

It made me think of the verse in Matthew that says, "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?" (5:46, 47). I have been feeling upset about being left out or not included and not being a nice person about it either. But a friend told me something that I pray will continue to ring through my heart. She said, "Even if everyone is rude to you, if they hurt you intentionally or unintentionally, be kind to them. Show them Christ's love. It says in Proverbs that "If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you" (25:21, 22). At first, I did not understand what "heap burning coals" meant, but as I read more about it, I learned its meaning. To "heap burning coals on your neighbor's head" was meant to bring shame and forgiveness. It is commonly put, "to kill them with kindness." Nevertheless, I have been trying my hardest to be kind with everyone.

Another hard lesson in which I am learning is to be content in all circumstances. It is hard, especially when things do not seem fair and life does not seem to go my way. It us such a hard concept to grasp, and it took me many weeks to fully understand. I think what Paul was talking about was, when we are filled by God and His Love and delight in Him and find our fullness and joy through Him, nothing else shall matter. I was putting my joy, my happiness, my peace, in the relationships I have with others. This will always lead me down the path of destruction; people will always fail me. But, being content with every circumstances says this: I choose to be joyful despite my current situations. 

I am so thankful for these lessons I have learned. So thankful that God has not given up on me. His arm is never out of reach (Isaiah 59:1). I pray that God continues to change me, no matter how hard the journey may be. I pray He takes me to the High Places with him, and that I remain fully in Him when times are hard.

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