What Are You Looking For?

Qualities

I created a list over a year ago that had all the qualities I am looking for in a future husband. For those that have not done this, I strongly encourage it. Having a list of expectations and of things you will not settle is important. This list has kept me from dating guys that were not the right one for me. The list has shown me the "red flags" of guys that I shouldn't date. So I thought I would share my list to give you some ideas:

1. A Christian
• This is the first quality I look for when I meet a guy. If they are not a Christian, there really isn't any point in going further in the dating relationship. It is also biblical. 2 Corinthians 6:14
2. The capability to lead a family
• It is a man's role to lead and provide for the family. If he cannot lead or does not show qualities that can lead a family, red flag.
3. Adventurous and spontaneous
4. A "King"
• If you have not read the book, "Preparing to be a Help Meet" by Debi Pearl, I strongly recommend it. She outlines the 'king' personality as someone who takes charge and what he says goes. I find this quality very attractive in a man.
5. A sense of humor
6. Close to his family
• Look at how he interacts with his family. Is he rude and impatient with them? Does he do extra chores for them without complaining? If he is not close with his family, it may indicate that he won't be close with the family he will lead one day.
7. Doesn't drink, smoke, or say inappropriate words
8. College graduate
9. Similar beliefs as me
• It is important to date someone with similar beliefs. If you don't, a lot of unnecessary arguments may happen. If he believes the same things as you, it won't be hard to decide on a church home or any other decisions like that.
10. Strong in his faith and convictions
11. Able to be rational instead of emotional
• Since I am an emotional person, I need someone who is able to put his emotions aside and make a decision. This goes with the next point.
12. Able to make decisions in tough times
13. Financially mature
14. Genuine in care
15. Unchangeable mind and is not easily swayed
16. Pushes me to grow in faith and life experiences
17. Smart and wise
18. Approval of someone I respect

Creating a list is important. But, don't just stop there. It is also important to make a list for yourself. Who do you want to be in the relationship? If you have standards for the man you will date and marry, you need a list of who you will be, or who you want to be one day. I know that I am nowhere near where I need to be, so I have created a list of things that I need to change about myself. I also created a list of what I can bring to the relationship. 

Both lists are important. Create your own lists. Make one for qualities you are searching for in a husband. Create another for things that you can bring to the relationship and areas in your life that aren't quite fine tuned. It will open your eyes to all the red flags that you do not want to settle on.