Oh Father, Give Me Grace to Forgive Them

Cause I Feel Like the One Losing

It's hard to believe that I am almost twenty-two. Honestly, the years have flown by. That sounds cliche, but the truth remains. Life passes so fast.  However old you are, however young you are, there are still so many things to learn. Personally, I struggle with one distinct lesson: Forgiveness.

It is so hard to continue to forgive someone when they personally attack you. How can I forgive someone who has, on multiple occasions, said things to break me?

I'm not going to go into the situation because honestly, what good would that do? But regardless, why is it that people who claim truth are the ones living differently behind closed doors? I am no righteous person, and I am no better. But it is so hard to forgive and forgive and forgive to be broken and torn down again and again.

There are days when all I can say is, "I am tired of being put down by this girl." And then I remember the sacrifice. Jesus was probably tired of hanging on a cross so that I might live. Jesus preached to his disciples the reason for forgiving others.

You have heard that it was said, "Love you neighbor and hate your enemy." But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. -Matthew 5:42-48

 Even after reading this again, I still feel so much conviction. How could I not forgive, knowing what Jesus did for me and for you? It reminds me of the Parable of the unmerciful servant.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tel you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and children and all he had be sold to repay the debt. At this the servant fell on his knees before him, 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled his debts, and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into a prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brothers or sisters from your heart." -Matthew 18:21-35

I do not want to be an unforgiving person. I know how hard it is to forgive someone who purposely hurts you, who goes out of their way to upset you. But forgiveness is necessary. How do you expect God to forgive you of your sins if you cannot forgive a brother or sister for theirs?

In 'Crazy Love,' a book by Francis Chan, he talks about what a lukewarm christian is. My favorite part is this:

Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is little love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached.

Have you ever drank lukewarm coffee? It's terrible. On the contrary, coffee that is hot or iced coffee is quite good. Most people either prefer their coffee really hot or iced. No one chooses to have coffee that is just kind of hot. It is the same for God. It clearly states in Revelation that God will spit those who are lukewarm out of His mouth. I know that I do not want to live a lukewarm life. I want to live boldly before Christ so that every person I come in contact with knows that I bear His fruit. I want strangers to see something different about me, even before I open my mouth.

It is hard, this forgiveness thing. I am struggling with it now. I have struggled with it for years, and I know that I will continue to struggle with it. But if we choose to make strides in God's direction, He will help us through our weaknesses.

I think this video says it all. If you haven't heard the 'behind the song,' I would encourage you to look it up.



Show me how to love the unlovable.
Show me how to reach the unreachable.
Help me now to do the impossible.

It'll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it's power can do
So, let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner it really frees is YOU.


Blessings.

I Am Yours

I Am Forever Yours

Does anyone ever go through periods of feeling extremely lonely? For me, this is quite often. Actually, I spent the majority of my junior semester feeling like this. I can remember for weeks all I did was lay in my bed and cry. I moped to class and honestly didn't have any concern for my appearance. It wasn't a pretty sight at all.

And then one day as I was laying in bed something incredible happened. I did something I didn't normally do--turned on Pandora. A song began to fill the air and the words still to this day pierce my heart.

"Come and rest here, come and lay your burdens down. Come and rest here, there is refuge for you now. You'll find His peace and know you're not alone any more. He is here. You'll find His healing, your heart isn't shattered anymore, He is here." -Here by Kari Jobe

Aren't these words so true? I can remember in that moment feeling so much peace. I can remember truly feeling like the arms of the Lord were embracing me and holding me tighter than anyone ever has before. I felt peace, not just any peace though. I felt the peace that only God in Heaven can give. I remember literally running to my computer and seeing what song was playing. My tears were no more. Even better, I felt all my problems disappear.

It reminds of Matthew 11:28-30:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

 God's yoke is easy. His burdens are light. My friend described it in this way: "God never intended us to have heavy burdens. He wants us to give Him our heavy burdens in exchange for His light ones and the knowing that He will take care of all things. He taught the sun to rise. He can handle any problem we give Him." What truth!

God promises to take care of us. Remember the bird?

Blessings.

Worry

Look at the Birds of the Air

Lately I have been struck with the bad habit of worrying. It's such a bad trap to fall into. Worrying not only causes much grief but it also places doubt in your mind.

A few days ago I was sitting at my new desk in my new room and realized a few important lessons. I guess I should start by saying that, up until this point, I was not happy in my new room. It is ground-level and oftentimes it is humid in the room. Not only that, but little ants sometimes get in through the cracks of the window. But I realized something so important. So many people are without rooms or a warm bed to sleep in. Yet, there I was despising the great place God has given me. This room as allowed me to have a different perspective because I am literally level with the grass. It has allowed me to see so many new things.

One of the biggest lessons I learned was looking out of my window. As I stared out the window, I noticed a tiny bird in the grass. It looked as though it was really having a blast just rummaging through the grass. And then I saw what it was looking for: food. And just as easily as I had realized it, the little bird found exactly what it was looking for. What a beautiful reminder. The bird did not worry about where it was going to find it's next meal. It just went on it's merry day and food was provided at the right time.

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? -Matthew 6:25-27

It really convicted me, because I know that I am continually worrying. I worry about my future and the plan God has for me. I worry about what career path I will be on. I even worry about what I am going to be doing the next day or if my friends will still care about me tomorrow. But just as that little bird danced in the grass and trusting that food would be there, I need to continue to dance through life giving thanks to the Lord for the things that He has already provided, and for the things I know He will provide in the future. He promises this to all of His children.

Because Sin Exists

The Wages of Sin

Today I am overwhelmed with hurt. It breaks my heart to hear the pain and anguish my dear friends experience. It is unbearable to know that loved friends carry with them the deep scars from their past. Friends around me are losing their parents or friends or siblings. In other instances, parents left their child with physical and emotional scars that may never disappear. Many dear friends are struck with diseases with which doctors do not have answers. The list goes on.

I am left with only one thought: Why? Why do we live in a world where hurt and anger and resentment run so deep? How could a God who loves us so dearly allow such events to take place?

A few things come to mind:

First and foremost, pain and suffering exist because of original sin. Because of the sin of Adam and Eve, evil will exist in the world until Jesus returns. As a result, we are faced with trials and tribulations daily. But, how could we ever understand the goodness of the Lord? How could we truly experience the mercy and grace that only God can give us? It would be impossible.

Another thought that comes to mind is a story my pastor told us. He described a scene of the devil and God talking about Job. He painted a picture of the devil saying, "Of course Job is following You; You have given him everything he wants. Let's see if he will follow you if everything is taken away." This has been a continual thought in my mind. Will I still follow Jesus if I lose everything? If I am oppressed on every side, will I still lift my eyes up to the Lord? In the case of Job, he refused to curse the name of the Lord. Learning from his example, I pray that when hard times come, I stay strong and cling to my Rock. I know that the testing of my faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that I may be made mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:3-4).

I wouldn't like to imagine a world where things were perfect and everything under the sun belonged to us. Do you know how selfish we would be? If we literally had everything we wanted, if we never experienced any hardship, we would be even more awful than we already are. A better character comes from the trials and tribulations we face in life. God promises to finish a good work in us (Philippians 1:6). If God puts you through a difficult situation, He PROMISES to get you through it. He will not leave you in the valley.

In closing, bad things are going to happen. The Bible promises trials. But, it is important to cling to your faith and trust that the One who gave you the storm can also calm the winds. 

Be Blessed.