We all struggle with them, but no one really talks about them. Even looking at the word gives me a bad taste in my mouth. But, when I am honest with myself, I have addictions just like anyone else. Some addictions may seem alot worse than others, but nonetheless, they are addictions. For some, the addiciton of gossiping may be a downfall. For others, a more extreme circumstance may be taking place.
What addictions do you have? Do you realize that God cannot work through the problem unless you fully give it to him?
When I was struggling with a specific addiction, I remember confiding in a manager. Her words still have such an impact on my, and often I apply them to other situations. She said, "You have to give it to the Lord." I remember telling her that I had given it to Him, yet still I struggle. What she said next is so important. "You haven't fully given it to him. Imagine me saying, 'Hannah, take this key and go downstairs and get my phone.' You reach for the key, yet I am so tightly gripped on it that you cannot get it from my hands. That is what you are doing to God. You say, 'Lord, Lord, take this from me.' Yet, when he tries to take it, you have your hand so heavily wrapped around it, that it is impossible for Him to take it from you. Give it to Him. He can handle way more than you can."
Isn't that so true? We so often beg God to take it from us. I remember pleading that God would no longer allow me to struggle with a certain addiction. I could not understand why I still struggled with it when I had asked the Lord to take it from me. Now I realize that I still let Satan have a foothold by not giving it fully to God and allowing Him to work everything out in His timing and for His glory. He promises to never give us more than we can bear.
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. -1 Corinthians 10:13
When we truly 'let go and let God,' the results are breathtaking. In my own life, the beauty that God has allowed to come out of the situation is beautiful. Knowing that the Lord has brought you out of your valley is a testimony in itself.
And so it began. Ever since the very beginning of time, Satan has been lying to us. Did you catch that? Genesis 3. And today, some 3,500 years ago, we are still being fooled and deceived by the evil serpent. I know that in my own life, I am constantly being fooled by the author of deceit. He tells me lie after lie after lie.
I don't know if I have mentioned it to many people, but a lot of changes have taken place recently. A new major. A new relationship status. A new dorm. The list goes on. And I can honestly say that Satan has used every one of those opportunities to plant seeds of doubt in my heart. What is worse? I let him.
I am in constant fear that I will not have a successful future due to my major change. I am confused still as to why my dream was taken away from me, but that is beside the point. Satan has used the circumstance to lie to me. What is worse is that I believe it. I fall into the same trap over and over again. I know that God has a plan for me and that His ways are better than my own. I know that His plans are not to harm me, but I still fall into a rut and have to fight to get out.
Another lie that Satan whispers in my ear is that I am never going to get married. A lot of this has to do with the recent breakup, I'm sure. But nonetheless, it is still a constant worry. How could anyone spend the rest of their life with me? I annoy myself sometimes, how could I not annoy someone else? I catch myself running through a list of all my bad qualities. I convince myself that I will never find a husband. I criticize every part of my being, from my personality to my outward appearance. It is a downward spiral, and Satan has such a tight grip on that part of my life.
This is such a terribly trap to fall into. When we give Satan just an inch of our life, he will take a mile and run with it. He is never satisfied and the deceit he plants begins to seep into other parts of your life. Before you know it, he controls you.
That is why it is so important to flee from Satan. When he starts to speak lies into your ear, do not listen. I know this is easier said than done, but it needs to happen. When we start to believe the lies of the devil, we stop listening to the truth of the Lord. We stop hearing the soft, gentle words of our Creator.
I have to tell myself that the ways of the Lord are perfect and He has promised great things to His children (Jeremiah 29:11-13). I have to resist the devil so he will flee from me (James 4:7). I have to resist the traps the devil has set for me. I have to be intentional about my thoughts and put aside anything that does not line up with the character of God. I have to be intentional about what I allow to stay as a thought in my head. It is hard, truly, but I know that as the days go on, if I am in the word and praying that God protect my heart from Satan, it will get better.
It's hard to believe that I am almost twenty-two. Honestly, the years have flown by. That sounds cliche, but the truth remains. Life passes so fast. However old you are, however young you are, there are still so many things to learn. Personally, I struggle with one distinct lesson: Forgiveness.
It is so hard to continue to forgive someone when they personally attack you. How can I forgive someone who has, on multiple occasions, said things to break me?
I'm not going to go into the situation because honestly, what good would that do? But regardless, why is it that people who claim truth are the ones living differently behind closed doors? I am no righteous person, and I am no better. But it is so hard to forgive and forgive and forgive to be broken and torn down again and again.
There are days when all I can say is, "I am tired of being put down by this girl." And then I remember the sacrifice. Jesus was probably tired of hanging on a cross so that I might live. Jesus preached to his disciples the reason for forgiving others.
You have heard that it was said, "Love you neighbor and hate your enemy." But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even the pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect. -Matthew 5:42-48
Even after reading this again, I still feel so much conviction. How could I not forgive, knowing what Jesus did for me and for you? It reminds me of the Parable of the unmerciful servant.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tel you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and children and all he had be sold to repay the debt. At this the servant fell on his knees before him, 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled his debts, and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into a prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brothers or sisters from your heart." -Matthew 18:21-35
I do not want to be an unforgiving person. I know how hard it is to forgive someone who purposely hurts you, who goes out of their way to upset you. But forgiveness is necessary. How do you expect God to forgive you of your sins if you cannot forgive a brother or sister for theirs?
In 'Crazy Love,' a book by Francis Chan, he talks about what a lukewarm christian is. My favorite part is this:
Lukewarm people love others but do not seek to love others as much as they love themselves. Their love of others is typically focused on those who love them in return, like family, friends, and other people they know and connect with. There is little love left over for those who cannot love them back, much less for those who intentionally slight them. Their love is highly conditional and very selective, and generally comes with strings attached.
Have you ever drank lukewarm coffee? It's terrible. On the contrary, coffee that is hot or iced coffee is quite good. Most people either prefer their coffee really hot or iced. No one chooses to have coffee that is just kind of hot. It is the same for God. It clearly states in Revelation that God will spit those who are lukewarm out of His mouth. I know that I do not want to live a lukewarm life. I want to live boldly before Christ so that every person I come in contact with knows that I bear His fruit. I want strangers to see something different about me, even before I open my mouth.
It is hard, this forgiveness thing. I am struggling with it now. I have struggled with it for years, and I know that I will continue to struggle with it. But if we choose to make strides in God's direction, He will help us through our weaknesses.
I think this video says it all. If you haven't heard the 'behind the song,' I would encourage you to look it up.
Show me how to love the unlovable.
Show me how to reach the unreachable.
Help me now to do the impossible.
It'll clear the bitterness away
It can even set a prisoner free
There is no end to what it's power can do
So, let it go and be amazed by what you see through eyes of grace
The prisoner it really frees is YOU.
Does anyone ever go through periods of feeling extremely lonely? For me, this is quite often. Actually, I spent the majority of my junior semester feeling like this. I can remember for weeks all I did was lay in my bed and cry. I moped to class and honestly didn't have any concern for my appearance. It wasn't a pretty sight at all.
And then one day as I was laying in bed something incredible happened. I did something I didn't normally do--turned on Pandora. A song began to fill the air and the words still to this day pierce my heart.
"Come and rest here, come and lay your burdens down. Come and rest here, there is refuge for you now. You'll find His peace and know you're not alone any more. He is here. You'll find His healing, your heart isn't shattered anymore, He is here." -Here by Kari Jobe
Aren't these words so true? I can remember in that moment feeling so much peace. I can remember truly feeling like the arms of the Lord were embracing me and holding me tighter than anyone ever has before. I felt peace, not just any peace though. I felt the peace that only God in Heaven can give. I remember literally running to my computer and seeing what song was playing. My tears were no more. Even better, I felt all my problems disappear.
It reminds of Matthew 11:28-30:
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
God's yoke is easy. His burdens are light. My friend described it in this way: "God never intended us to have heavy burdens. He wants us to give Him our heavy burdens in exchange for His light ones and the knowing that He will take care of all things. He taught the sun to rise. He can handle any problem we give Him." What truth!
God promises to take care of us. Remember the bird?
Lately I have been struck with the bad habit of worrying. It's such a bad trap to fall into. Worrying not only causes much grief but it also places doubt in your mind.
A few days ago I was sitting at my new desk in my new room and realized a few important lessons. I guess I should start by saying that, up until this point, I was not happy in my new room. It is ground-level and oftentimes it is humid in the room. Not only that, but little ants sometimes get in through the cracks of the window. But I realized something so important. So many people are without rooms or a warm bed to sleep in. Yet, there I was despising the great place God has given me. This room as allowed me to have a different perspective because I am literally level with the grass. It has allowed me to see so many new things.
One of the biggest lessons I learned was looking out of my window. As I stared out the window, I noticed a tiny bird in the grass. It looked as though it was really having a blast just rummaging through the grass. And then I saw what it was looking for: food. And just as easily as I had realized it, the little bird found exactly what it was looking for. What a beautiful reminder. The bird did not worry about where it was going to find it's next meal. It just went on it's merry day and food was provided at the right time.
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? -Matthew 6:25-27
It really convicted me, because I know that I am continually worrying. I worry about my future and the plan God has for me. I worry about what career path I will be on. I even worry about what I am going to be doing the next day or if my friends will still care about me tomorrow. But just as that little bird danced in the grass and trusting that food would be there, I need to continue to dance through life giving thanks to the Lord for the things that He has already provided, and for the things I know He will provide in the future. He promises this to all of His children.
Today I am overwhelmed with hurt. It breaks my heart to hear the pain and anguish my dear friends experience. It is unbearable to know that loved friends carry with them the deep scars from their past. Friends around me are losing their parents or friends or siblings. In other instances, parents left their child with physical and emotional scars that may never disappear. Many dear friends are struck with diseases with which doctors do not have answers. The list goes on.
I am left with only one thought: Why? Why do we live in a world where hurt and anger and resentment run so deep? How could a God who loves us so dearly allow such events to take place?
A few things come to mind:
First and foremost, pain and suffering exist because of original sin. Because of the sin of Adam and Eve, evil will exist in the world until Jesus returns. As a result, we are faced with trials and tribulations daily. But, how could we ever understand the goodness of the Lord? How could we truly experience the mercy and grace that only God can give us? It would be impossible.
Another thought that comes to mind is a story my pastor told us. He described a scene of the devil and God talking about Job. He painted a picture of the devil saying, "Of course Job is following You; You have given him everything he wants. Let's see if he will follow you if everything is taken away." This has been a continual thought in my mind. Will I still follow Jesus if I lose everything? If I am oppressed on every side, will I still lift my eyes up to the Lord? In the case of Job, he refused to curse the name of the Lord. Learning from his example, I pray that when hard times come, I stay strong and cling to my Rock. I know that the testing of my faith develops perseverance and perseverance must finish its work so that I may be made mature and complete, not lacking anything (James 1:3-4).
I wouldn't like to imagine a world where things were perfect and everything under the sun belonged to us. Do you know how selfish we would be? If we literally had everything we wanted, if we never experienced any hardship, we would be even more awful than we already are. A better character comes from the trials and tribulations we face in life. God promises to finish a good work in us (Philippians 1:6). If God puts you through a difficult situation, He PROMISES to get you through it. He will not leave you in the valley.
In closing, bad things are going to happen. The Bible promises trials. But, it is important to cling to your faith and trust that the One who gave you the storm can also calm the winds.
I cannot get enough of the book, "Hind's Feet On High Places." I started reading it again, even though I just finished it months ago. I seriously recommend the book to everyone; it doesn't matter what your life looks like or how your walk with God is going. The book is beneficial to everyone.
On my quest to find more books by Hannah Hurnard, I stumbled upon the book, "A Journey to the High Places." I came across a quote that immediately made me want to purchase the book:
"You purposely allow us to be brought into contact with the bad and evil
things that You want changed. Perhaps that is the very reason why we are here in
this world, where sin and sorrow and suffering and evil abound, so that we may
let You teach us so to react with them, that out of them we can create lovely
qualities to live forever. That is the only really satisfactory way of dealing
with evil, not simply binding it so that it cannot work harm, but whenever
possible, overcoming it with good."
Isn't this quote just lovely? God purposelyplaced us here to change the evils in the world. He is teaching us through every step how to be more like Christ. So, is our suffering really suffering?
It reminds me of the song, "Though You Slay Me," by Shane and Shane. There is a brief sermon perfectly snuggled in the middle by Mr. John Piper. The words he speaks pierces my heart each time I listen to it.
How absolutely beautiful! This song is so worth listening to. Our suffering is producing something beautiful within us that God will use for His glory. Suffering for Christ is the best kind of suffering. "We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." -Romans 5:3-5
